doing kid things

We went to the Lazy 5 Ranch this past weekend, in Mooresville. I’m not sure what the 5 means. Five lazy things? Five ranches named “lazy”? Who knows. Anyway, it was educational and just plain awesome.It’s one of those places where you pay as you drive in, and then can park and walk through an initial section of animals (parrots, tortoises, camels, goats, etc). There’s a little gift shop and concession stand at the start, too. Then you get in your car, and drive on the 3.5 mile track. This is where the animals are free, and will come up to your car. Deer, pigs, llamas, emus, goats, mountain goats, long-horned steer, zebra, buffalo….I might be missing a few. We bought a bucket of feed for a few bucks, and could feed the animals as we drove through. There was a giraffe section (my favorite), though they weren’t out in the open with the rest. The rhino either. I found this to be a very neat trip, as I had never been to this sort of ‘zoo’ before.

Here is what I learned at the Lazy 5 Ranch:

  • People should read the rules. The car in front of us did not heed the warning about not feeding buffalo, and promptly had their whole bucket of feed stolen and stomped upon. We had a good laugh at these people, until we realized that when you feed one buffalo, all will stampede to your car, and stand in the middle of the road for a long time. It was very “broken axle, lose five days”.
  • A ’93 Honda is better than a ’06 Lexus in these parts. Bwahahaha, you are never getting that slobber out of your expensive head rest. Side note: bring some sort of towel for your hands after feeding the animals.
  • Unless you want a llama halfway inside of your car, hide the food. These suckers are so smart, they even know the logical hiding spots (in between front seats, passenger-side floorboard, bra)
  • I am deathly afraid of llamas.
  • Although pot-belly pigs are among the worlds ugliest animals, their babies are actually really cute. This proves the “baby anythings are cute” theory.
  • They do not make you turn in your feed bucket when you leave. I know, it was dishonest, since there were signs everywhere saying “Please turn in your feed bucket at the front gate,” but these buckets are the perfect popcorn size. And they say Lazy 5 Ranch on them! Yes, we are criminals.
  • One small animal food pellet will have no problem getting stuck in your gear shift, making it hell on earth to go from Park to Reverse…for days after the trip.
  • If you are dumb and take the directions from the website, you will go 30 miles out of your way, but there is a good chance that you’ll pass a new gigantic amazing stupendous SuperTarget. I have never been more grateful for taking the long way.

Illustrations are coming soon.


~ by Lindsey on 8 August 2007.

One Response to “doing kid things”

  1. SO cute! I miss you Linds!!!

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