D is for many things…

People either write too much about depression, or they don’t mention it at all.  Sorry.  Blanket statement.  Truthfully, it’s just all-encompassing, so I sorta understand.  When you have a difficult time finding the energy to do, I don’t know, ANYTHING, it’s kinda hard to really think about a normal life with normal stuff in it.  Maybe putting all of my attention on this ridiculously impossible load of laundry will help me get it done, or some such.  It’s one of the reasons I’ve not posted in a long while, nor have I kept up with my friends in the way I’d like for the past few months.  So here is my post on depression.  I promise it won’t be a series.

My life has been pretty poor lately.  I’m not speaking solely of our financial situation – I’ve been depressed and…unhinged.  I don’t know how else to say it.  Removed from society for the most part, outside of the news that I see on-line.  I’ve had no interest in really discussing it with people because I hate that annoying sad person.  I don’t want to be the pity party planner and draw all those wrinkled faces from people in my life.  Not because I think you guys are ugly that way, I just hate giving people a reason to feel bad.  I’d like to put on the happy face and have everything just…work out.  And maybe it will!  I’m not so far gone that I can’t imagine a bright future.  If I get to that point, further action must be taken.  For now, I’m trying to muddle through the fog with this ripped up map.  Causes?  I dunno.  Probably a combination of some negative events in my life in 2009, along with some other stuff.  But I swear, it’s not ‘woe is me’.  I just wanted to write it somewhere that I care about my friends and family.  And I appreciate those in my world who care.  I truly do, even if I haven’t been the absolute best at sharing it.  Can’t really see it now, but I’m gonna be fine.

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~ by Lindsey on 13 March 2010.

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